Comfort

I'm not entirely sure where I'll be going with this post. Just letting off some steam I guess. I hate hate hate being comfortable. I hate that I'm in a routine right now where I basically know exactly what to expect from day to day. I hate that I'm laying in a comforbable (relatively) bed right now when there are kids in northern Uganda that can't even sleep in their own houses for fear of being abducted and turned into a killer. I hate that these things bother me. Why can't I be someone that's okay not caring. Or that's content not wanting to help but saying good job to those who do. It must be so much easier. Why can't I be that way?

I was talking to someone yesterday about the movie Blood Diamond. It was on tv last week or something...I don't remember. But I watched it for the first time and I asked this person if they liked it. Their reaction was basically, no it was to sad. So I told them that I'd never made the connection that the movie had child soldiers in it and was similar to the Invisible Children documentary, except that the documentary was of course, real. I suggested that this person watch it and kinda briefly explained what it was about and they said "Oh no I don't think so." I was a little puzzled so I asked why not and they said these exact words "Seeing that would upset me to much." Wow. It was all I could do not to blow up in this person's face. And if this were any other person, I may have. It SHOULD upset you! It should bother you to the point that you want to do something. But no. People don't like that. It makes them uncomfortable to know that these things happen. That they're real. Must be nice to not care enough to avoid things that make us feel guilty. That make us feel like a bad person.

There is a chapter in the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan called Profile of the Lukewarm in which he says:

"Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be 'good enough' without it requiring too much of them."

Sounds about right to me. I'm guilty as well. I don't like seeing things that make me feel bad. Duh. But they're real. And it bothers me when people avoid them so they can live their little perfect lives here with their 2 story houses and nice SUVs and steady jobs. Oh my gah! America is in a recession! People might have to stop eating at Olive Garden every week now! Now I'm not making light of the situation. I know a lot of people are affected by this. A lot of jobs lost and that sort of thing. I just think that in the midst of this, we should realize how rich we really are and be thankful! We don't know how good we have it even now when a lot of us are at our rock bottom. We're still so blessed compared to most!

Okay I'm stopping my little rambling complaint about America now. I need to go to bed. I'm trying this whole new lifestyle thing involving less caffeine and more sleep so wish me luck. We'll see how it goes. Despite the angry post above, I love you all. :]

A Few Topics on my Mind

Topic 1: This is it folks. I finally found it. My weakness. Never thought I'd actually find one, but its there. Plain as day. Can't believe I never noticed before. A lot of people have issues dealing with theirs pasts. Things they've done or didn't do. Said or didn't say. Well, I am the complete opposite. I can not stop dwelling on the future. I don't mean like the normal college student worries about where they'll be after graduation kind of future. I mean EVERYTHING! It consumes my thought. Thoughts like "wow I'm going to be really sad when all the seniors this year to graduate and leave." or "Where am I going to live after this school year and who will I live with?" "What am I going to do this summer?" "When can I go back to Texas?" I am all about the future. And when I think of it this way, I begin to wonder if I'm missing anything that's happening right now. This occurred to me a couple of hours ago so I haven't had time to notice yet. But really, I think I need to try to better live in the "now" instead of dwelling on things that have yet to happen. So thats something I need to work on.

Topic 2: Some of you may know that one of my main goals this year is to get to know people I already know. People that I know fairly well. We hang out a lot. I see them a good bit. But I don't really know them. I don't know their story. So one thing I've been doing is simply getting coffee with random friends or even asking perfect strangers to tell me their story. For instance, one night a couple of weeks ago, I was giving a friend of mine a ride somewhere and her roommate wanted to ride along. While driving, I began just talking to her roommate. I asked her to...well...tell me her story. And she did. Just an idea of what this girl was like: this girl was very happy, very positive, smiled a lot, fairly talkative and seemed like an all around decent, normal, perfectly happy freshman at CofC. She goes on to tell me how her dad was actually a raging alcoholic who died from alcohol when she was in 7th grade. She grew up in that atmosphere and her entire family on that side suffered from the same addiction. She told me all sorts of stories from her childhood that, upon looking at her, you would have never guessed. Ever. I guess my point is that something I've learned more clearly than any schoolwork this year is that you never know what someone is going through. Strangers on the street, coworkers, people in your class. You never know what they're going through. So we should love everyone and show compassion for everyone no matter how "together" they seem on the outside.

And this girls story is just one example of many I've come across so far.

Topic 3: You know, I had an entire 3rd topic I was going to type about. But on further evaluation, I believe I'll save this one so it can have its own posting. Plus it's 1:45am and I have class at 9. So I'm going to bed. Good night all :]

Favorite Song

One of my FAVORITE songs ever is "Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham. If you're one of the few people that actually read my blog, you probably know this one. I literally will just get in some strange mood where I really want to listen to this song. I was thinking today, as I was listening to the song, "what makes it so great?" And I think its because this song just addresses so many aspects of a real relationship with God.



The first verse just praises God for all He is. His grace, beauty, glory. All are there and the song is just saying that these aspects all consume my life. They're "all I see." And I really love when it says that "In your presence God, I'm completely satisfied." I mean yea. For me at least, its one of the most satisfying feelings to be totally immersed in God. To be totally immersed in His presence or totally immersed in awe and worship of who Him and His awesome character. You just don't get much better than that.



The chorus, of course, is just full on worship. I just really love the whole "divine romance" concept. Its such a great way to look at your relationship with God. A romance is defined by love. It's not defined by doing things for another though, which is a concept a lot of people have (maybe unknowingly). My small group at BCM is reading through Crazy Love by Francis Chan and one topic he addressed in our chapter for this week was: do you love God...or do you love the idea of God. The fact that God is saving you from eternal hell. Do you genuinely love Him for who He is? His very character? Put it this way. Take away all the heavy stuff like heaven and hell. There's just this God who loves you more than you can comprehend but He's not necessarily saving you from anything. Do you still love Him? Do you still want to keep His commandments if there are no punishments? It's tough to think of it that way. But His relationship with us should be based on His love for us and we should attempt to love Him as well. It's not based on "Hey what can God do for me today?" I totally just went off on a huge tangent and I appologize. It was not intended for this post.



Anyway, so the last verse is basically the gospel contained in 3 lines. He talks about an ocean of love flowing from God and how Jesus's innocent blood has cleaned our lives. I just love this song. Covers so many things. I think I'll post a video. Yea I'll do that. Here you go :]

Okay it wouldn't let me post a video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeTzIuZr0wI

See if the link works :]

Tattoo idea?

So I'm thinking of getting this tattooed on the inside of my foot (kind of behind/under ankle bone). Not in blue though, in black. Hummingbirds are kind of special to me for several reasons. One, I think they're beautiful. Two, ever since I was small, my mom has loved hummingbirds and has had feeders in our back yard. She would always sit out on our backporch in the early evenings (when they usually feed) and just sit and watch them. Or the same thing in the morning with her coffee. On many occasions I would go sit with her and watch them feed and we would talk. Just sit and talk. Oftentimes it wasn't anything to deep or important but all of these times are very dear to me. So I love hummingbirds :]

And I would really really like something scriptural to go with it so if you have any ideas, shoot me a message.

People back home, don't you dare tell my mother!

Thoughts

Yay! New blog! I've been wanting to write one for awhile now. So here are some thoughts.

Fact: In the past 46 hours, I've slept a grand total of 6 of them...mostly spread out throughout the day, not the night.
Fact: During said hours, I've filled my body with nothing other than horrible, processed, microwavable meals, starburst jellybeans, and highly concentrated amounts of caffeine.
Fact: 90% of said hours have been consumed by studying for 2 separate anatomy tests.
Fact: 0% of said hours have been spent in God's word and in prayer.

Needless to say, the past few days have been a little rough. But they're over now. Thank God! Anyways...so I was just thinking on this a few minutes ago and decided to write about it. During anatomy class thus far, I've gone to the lab at least 3 times a week (which is a lot more than most), spent at least 7 or 8 hours in the lab each week and even more time studying ouside of the lab. I spent many many precious hours studying for these tests including all of sunday night before my test Monday morning. All of this work for a couple of tests that will last about 2 hours total. I get to the tests and what happens? They're hard. I don't think I did very well on either of them and it really frustrates me when this happens. I work my butt off...all in vain. All of that work I did does not matter because I'm not getting the grade I want on those tests. This has been consuming my thoughts the past couple of days.

So I get to tonight. I'm finally finally FINALLY done with the tests. So I decided to spend some time in the Word to kind of make up for lost time in the past couple of days. I knew it would make me feel better. I've been reading in 1 Corinthians lately. I love Paul! (Even though I believe he can be slightly arrogant sometimes haha) So I'm reading and I get to verse 58 of chapter 15 which says

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of hte Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
-1 Corinthians 15:58

Once again, God's perfect timing comes through for me and I, again, try to focus on the big picture. My actions are not in vain. I live (or at least try to live) for God. My actions are purposeful. My life in general is purposeful. It doesn't matter if I fail this test. It doesn't matter if I fail this class. The big picture is that I am living my life for Christ and not for a good grade. 10 years down the road, these tests are not going to matter. Actually, I will probably have forgotten all about them by that point. Such trivial things we tend to focus on. How could I let these test affect me this way? How could I let something as trivial as a test in an anatomy class bring me to the point that I'm crying and having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night? Why would I do that? Why would I do that knowing that the God of the universe loves me and has given me purpose and has told me that I won't labor in vain? I puzzle myself sometimes.

Thats all for now. I need to get some sleep. Good night :]

Okay...so...

This will be short and I'm basically writing it as a way to procrastinate...I mean...take a break from studying for a few minutes. Don't really know what I will say so here goes.

Uhm. Okay. My life: Class, anatomy lab (usually 3-4 hours...ridiculous) work, homework, sleep, BCM. Thats about all I do.

I have yet to finish Sense and Sensability (even though its my 2nd time reading it so I technically have finished).

I started a notebook awhile back in which I just write down awesome Bible verses as I run across them and its actually been a really large blessing since I started it. I look in it when I'm having a bad day or something like that.

I started a prayer wall in my room...which I love. It's just a few things that are continuously requiring prayer. Includes quite a few missionaries, people I know going through difficult times, family issues, and the Invisible Children in Uganda (because that video has now successfully brought me to tears twice.) I'm trying to make it a point to pray over all these things every night.

My coke bottle from Einsteins today was in all spanish. I liked it.

My room is a mess.

I don't really care about the Women's Rights Movement, even though I've been studying it now for 2 hours.

I really want to go to India.

I really want patience and eyes to see that I have a mission field here so I won't be living just from one trip to the next.

I really want to see fruit in my life while I am here in Charleston.

Uhm...I really want to re-do my room. Its way to preppy for me. Gross.

I really really dislike my work but am trying to be positive about it so I'll stop complaining. I hate it when people complain so I'm going to stop. I'm blessed to have a job.

Okay I need to stop procrastinating. Back to studying. Sorry this post is lame.

The Vision and The Vow

The Vision and The Vow is a book I'm reading right now by Pete Greig. So far I'm only on Chapter 2 but its pretty good. There's been one section however that just really hit home for me. It's called "Clarity of Vision." Now the word "vision" has come up a lot in my world lately. Mainly this past school year through now and its really been getting me thinking so when I saw that was the name of this section, it immediately caught my interest. But the part of this section that got me, however, was not the vision part; it was the clarity part.

For so long now I've had my heart set on somehow being a full time missionary one day. I didn't (and still don't) know how I was going to get there. My ideal fantasy was of course to fall in love with a guy in the ministry and travel with him and bla bla bla... So when I started school, I wasn't sure what I "wanted to do with my life." You have to pick a job path and well, lets face it. Missions isn't exactly a major at a liberal arts school like CofC. So I was going to do something I could use in missions: med school. God changed my mind on that pretty quickly. So many of you know that now I'm pre nursing with hopes of being a CRNA (Anesthetist). Anyway, the point is, during all this time and even recently, I've always always prayed for "clarity." Keep that in mind as you read this next part.

In this book, Pete Greig tells a story of a man who went to work with Mother Teresa for a few months in Calcutta. He wanted a "clear vision for the rest of his life." Once there, Mother Teresa asked what she could do for him. He answered to simply pray for him. She then asked what he needed prayer for and he said "Pray that I get clarity for the future." She answered "No! I will not do that. Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of." He then replied "But you always seem to have clarity." Mother Teresa then said, "I have never had clarity. What I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."

Hmm...So when Jesus calls us to follow Him in our lives, we always sort of look for this roadmap. We want specific directions and often forget that God's way from point A to point C is not always through point B (From book). I guess I always figured that God would tell me exactly what He wants me to do. He's going to make it very clear that this is where I need to go or this is the major I need to have or something like that but its just not the case here. I'm constantly expecting a "sign" or something but they're just not showing up. And here's why. He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to run into the future like so many of us are struggling with right now, knowing nothing except for that fact that He loves us and will be there for the entire journey. There's not going to be some deep strong voice coming down from the sky saying "Go here" or "Don't go there." We just have to trust Him. We have to trust that no matter what, all things will work out for His glory. We have to trust Him. We have to trust Him. And again we have to trust Him. Such a simple concept but so hard to really really really do.

There are many examples in the one roadmap we do have. For instance, when Jesus was gathering His disciples, He said "Come follow me." Do you really think they had any idea what they were getting into? Where they'd be going? What they'd be doing? You think Peter knew he'd walk on water? Nope. They just had to trust Him. And they did.

So yea. I guess I just need to stop praying for clarity...because really...who needs it? I have God on my side. That's all I need right? I don't need to know right now where all my life is going to take me. I just need to trust that wherever it does take me, God is going to be there too. So that's my little spill on that subject. And I'm posting a poem below this written by Pete Greig called The Vision. Its soooo good! Kinda long but worth the read. Read it!

The Vision

So this guy comes up to me and says:

"What's the vision? What's the big idea?"

I open my mouth and words come out like this:

The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.

They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision ?

The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose,
that they might one day win
the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don’t need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners. Martyrs.
Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

Inside.

On the outside? They hardly care.
They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.

Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdo’s! Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be.
It will come to pass;
it will come easily;
it will come soon.

How do I know?

Because this is the longing of creation itself,
the groaning of the Spirit,
the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is his today.
My distant hope is his 3D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great ‘Amen!’ from countless angels, from hero’s of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

Peru Post 6

5/24/09

K.  I'm home now and exhausted.  So Saturday, I got up early and went to Starbucks with some people and then everyone went to the Inka Market which was AWESOME!  I loved it!  Everything was super cheap and you could bargain with the vendors.  So fun!  I bought so much stuff.  My North Face backpack was totally full. After that we ate lunch and went to the beach which was a lot of fun!  But you had to go down 220 steps (very steep I might add) to get down to the actual water.  We then went out on some rocks that stretched out into the ocean.  About the time we started to take pictures out there, the Pacific Ocean decided to give us some BIG waves.  Guess it thought it would look cooler.  These waves aren't like HUGE but they're definitely the biggest waves I've ever seen.  I'm pretty sure we got some cool pictures though...even though half of us were soaked by the time we left.  So then we went back to the hotel (even though we'd already checked out) and just hung out in the lobby until time to leave.

Later that night, Mrs. Angie came and saw me!  I got to sit and talk to her for awhile.  It was pretty great.  I enjoyed seeing her.  And she also told me I could come see her in the jungle next time I went to Peru.  I would sooooo love to go!   

Then we left for our plane and here I am about 30 hours later.  I think its bedtime for me.  I process things slowly so I'll probably write more "profound" things later on.  This concludes my Peru trip '09.  :]

Peru Post 5

5/20/09 (Still)

So this brings us to today (Friday).  We got up this morning and got on that horrible bus again to come back to Lima.  We got here and got checked in and all and I decided to get on facebook to check my comment from Mrs. Angie (Head) to get her number.  While reading her comment, I realized that she was staying at the exact same hotel that we were!  What are the odds?  I decided to wait in the lobby for a bit in case she came to check in.  Eventually, I asked the desk if she had checked in yet and they said no but she was supposed to call back in the next few minutes (luckily).  So she did call and they let me talk to her and she informs me that she's not coming in until tomorrow.  So I'll see her then I guess.  

After the phone call, a group of us walked down to the beach and I saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time ever.  Didn't really see all that much though.  It was pretty dark.  So then a bunch of us went to a 10:50pm movie to see Angels and Demons (which turned out to be pretty good!)  Well it's 2:30am now and I'm getting up at 7 so I'll write more tomorrow.

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So this ends the writings I actually wrote IN Peru.  :]

Peru Post 4

5/20/09 (still)

This brings me to today (Wed).  I woke up feeling sick this morning.  My stomach hadn't felt very good since last night and was still bothering me and I had a headache.  So I took some meds and drank some Coco de Mata tea.  Anyway, we were excited about today because we were going to get to talk to teens instead of small kids.  So we drive back to Usibamba and arrive at an empty school.  Turns out that the teachers decided to go on strike. (For one day might I add)  So we just went back over to the little kids again before tackling our service project which was to clean the Plaza in a small pueblo nearby.  It was really really bad.  We were all down on our hands and knees for what felt like forever and afterwards you could hardly tell we'd been there.  Finally all of us were feeling a little woozy from the heat so we had to go.  So we went back to the hotel and rested for a while.  the ride back was horrible.  My head was killing me.  So when we got back to the hotel, I went up to my room and I threw up.  I felt sooooooo much better afterwards.  However, this was obviously the day that everyone decided to get sick.  Karis came back and slept until the next day.  Angela had a bug of some sort.  She was really sick!  Puking and fever.  She was under like 6 blankets when I came back.  Poor thing.  

Later that night I went up on the roof to have a little quiet time.  The roof of our hotel is one of the highest points in the city and the stars were amazing!  (considering I was 12,500ft closer to them than at home.)  It was breath-taking.  Moments like those just make you wonder how anyone could deny the existence of a God.  

Oh something else we learned today in Usibamba.  When you're 13,000 ft higher than at home, it also means you're 13,000 ft closer to the sun.  We learned the hard way.  We all were cooked after about 30 minutes.  Mine was just on my arms though.  Thank God!

The next day, (Thurs) was really busy.  I'm really glad Karis was feeling better and could come.  that morning, we went to talk to the teens we were supposed to talk to the day before.  We did our dramas and whatnot and talked about hygeine and stuff (school wanted us to). And then we got to talk to them about Jesus.  At this point we began to lose the attention of most of our audience.  Except for one 16 year old girl named Mirret.  She asked questions like crazy!  Finally we told her to stay after and talk to us so we could let the others go.  We ended up talking to her for more than an hour and a half.  Most of the people there grew up catholic so she had questions about like the saints and stuff and we had to be very careful how we answered them so as to not offend anyone.  She also said she'd visited evangelical churches before and always wanted to make a commitment but didn't like that the churches were so legalistic.  For instance, you can't wear makeup?  This girl was very very smart.  She asked some great questions.  It was a great opportunity to share the gospel and how its not about rules.  It's about your personal relationship with Christ. (At the beginning of the trip, we were all given a spanish Bible with intentions on giving it to someone who needed it in Peru).  I knew I wanted to give her my Bible.  I highlighted John 3:16 and left her a note on that page in spanish that basically said that all the answers she wanted were in here.  Then we all exchanged emails with her.

After that we went to a small village to  show a (really cheesy) Jesus film.  Peruvians love this one though.  We invited a ton of people and actually had a pretty nice turnout.  Afterwards, the adults asked quite a few questions.  The hardest thing here is not the language.  It's trying to bridge the gap between us and catholicism.  They have no concept of grace and a personal relationship with God.  

After that, we got back to Huancayo around 10 and were starving so John took us to a nice restaurant where I ate some kind of rice stir fry dish.  And yes...I tried cuy (guinea pig).  We ordered one just so we could all say we'd tried it.  It was not good.  I did not like it at all.  I was picturing like a tiny steak looking thing...nope.  It was still like in tact.  You could see the stinkin head!  Some didn't mind it but I was to freaked out I think to keep eating it.  No bueno.

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Probably 2 more posts and that will be all!

Peru Post 3

This is actually the last bit I wrote over the trip but it's a lot so I may not type it all right now.

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5/20/09

Haven't written in awhile.  Been busy/exhausted.  So time to catch up.  Sunday after church our teams got together and planned out what to do for the week.  On Monday, we went to a village called...wait for it...Usibamba!  My new favorite word ever.  We went to an elementary school there and taught in a few of the classes.  It didn't go quite as we'd planned.  The idea was to do activities with the kids but they were all pretty much unresponsive.  Very very shy.  After that day, we were pretty discouraged.  Oh and before I go on, lets discuss the car ride.  We are in our journeyman John's truck.  It's an old, purple, standard truck that feels every single bump on the road. And the road we take to the villages is HORRIBLE!  We have a full backseat and LB and I share the front. (Not to comfortable but quite the bonding experience)  The ride is about an hour...maybe a little more.  Anyway, so we drive all the way back to Huancayo to eat supper at the church.  After supper, we go all the way back to a pueblo(village) near Usibamba to show a Jesus film/talk to the villagers.  It's night by the time we get there and the Plaza, where everyone was supposed to meet for the movie, is empty.  The room we were going to show the movie in was also locked.  So...Karis, LB, and I all really had to pee.  We'd already figured out, however, that we'd rather squat down somewhere than use the actual "bathrooms."  So we walk to the other side of the Plaze (which we spent a couple of hours cleaning earlier by the way haha) and we find a semi light place...and we pee.  so we finish our little bonding experience and walk back to the truck.  Now this place is a ghost town.  No one is around.   And it's cloudy so its really really dark.  So we're back at the truck.  Where are the guys?  We don't know.  We call them a few times, all with no answer.  At this point we're freaking out just a little.  (Well Karis isn't...but LB and I were.)  The truck was unlocked so we decided to hop in the back seat together which ends up being a little scarier than being out in the open.  We're sitting in there probably for 10 or 15 minutes and I hear a noise that scares me a little.  Turns out its just a pig outside.  So after reciting the Lord's prayer a few times, we hear the boys walking up.  We then jump out of the car and yell at them for a few minutes. It was pretty scary...but that's not the end of the story.  So we all walk over to the other side of the plaza just to look out over the view of the mountains for a minute and on our way back...John's flashlight happens to shine on some figure...it was a little Peruvian boy.  Outside...by himself...in the dark.  I'm pretty sure that after that we terrified the poor little thing.  John was shining his light in his face asking him all these questions and whatnot.  Poor thing.  Anyways...we eventually left because no one showed up for the movie (more disappointment) and we had an after thought.  If that little boy had been there...he probably saw all 3 of us squat down and pee in the plaza.  Hmm...

The next day we went to a town that I can never remember the name of.  We had a much larger group of kids there that ranged from the little ninos all the way up to teens.  We changed up our plans a little.  It was great!  At the end of the games and activities, we asked the kids why they thought we were there and then got to share with them about Jesus.  They asked some crazy questions!  For example:

>Why are there rich people and poor people?  (This was a LITTLE kid...probably 8 or so.)

>Why did Jesus have to die?

>Why are there so many unbelievers or atheists?

Wow.  These were children!  We were pretty blown away by their curiosity.  After that, LB and I actually did use their bathrooms.  Blech!  It's amazing the places God will call you to pee.  So late ron when the kids were out of school, we brought out 2 soccer balls.  Everyone, children, teens, even a few adults, played in this big field with us! (covered with poop I might add)  It was so fun!  But we did have to stop occasionally to let sheep, pigs, cattle, etc.  pass through.  Soccer at like 13000-14000 feet will kill you!!!  I've never felt so out of shape in my life!  My lungs are used to Charleston!  Below sea level!  This altitude is so bad that we're taking hot showers now just to breathe in the steam. 

Oh! Forgot something.  Got a little altitude sick today during one of the classes.  I thought I was going to throw up but I never did.  Bad feeling :/  Hit me like a wall!  But I got over it.  After all that we went to the hotel and napped til dinner.  Then went to a nearby mall but only got to stay for about 30 minutes.  Then we had "family time" with the whole group.  We shared stories about our weeks thus far.  It's weird but I feel like the only people I see are the ones on my team so family time was good.  Got to see everyone else.  I enjoyed it a lot!  

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That's a good stopping point for now.  I'm tired of typing.  :]

Peru Post 2

The dates may be slightly skewed from now on because I realize that I kept going back and adding stuff but whatever.  Here's post number 2 straight from my journal:

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Peru 5/17/09

Ah!  I feel so much better!  I slept 7 hours last night!  YES!  We got up this morning and came back to the church for breakfast.  We had stuff like cereal and fruit and whatnot.  I tried some kind of cereal I'd never heard of before but it had the word fitness in it?  It was good.  But the milk here is different.  they put something in it so that it can be stored in boxes and not refrigerated.  It was alright though.  We had a while before church so a few of us went up to the roof. Well there was this little raised up part that had stained glass panes on it.  We wanted to climb up on top to where the concrete was and you had to go around the stained glass.  Well Andrew broke one of the panes.  It was pretty funny.  So after that it was time for church.  The people here are very friendly.  Everyone greets each other with a kiss!  I love it! haha  So we're in church and they're singing everything in Spanish.  Wow.  It was interesting.  Some of the songs were easy to catch onto but others were just impossible.  And there was one song with motions.  You held hands with people around you then put your arms around each other then waved your hands in the air. haha  It was great.  So before the preacher came out, you went around and greeted everyone.  Can I just say that the children were adorable!  When that time came, they all just flocked to us!  It was absolutely precious!  I loved it!  And now the preacher is talking but he talks pretty quickly.  No comprendo.  haha So I figured I'd take this time to catch up on my journaling.  A lot of others are doing that as well.

So some observations: You see on tv like these hills covered with really run down houses and villages.  Well, we've seen many of these hills so far.  It's really sad.  There's an unimaginable poverty rate here.  Oh and there are no public trashcans.  Trash is everywhere.  Just in huge HUGE piles kinda like in Slumdog Millionaire.  Another thing: Restaurant bathrooms here have no toilet seats, toilet paper, or soap to wash your hands with. (Though I was shocked at this during this early time of the trip, by the end I was ECSTATIC to even see an actual toilet!)  Kinda makes you wonder about the people cooking your food.  Oh and these people are all about some car horns.  I'm listening to them now while in church.  It's like they have their own road language...

The altitude doesn't bother me that much unless I'm walking up stairs.  Gah!  It will wear you out!  By the time I make it to the third floor, I feel like I'm going to black out.  Literally!

So this valley that Huancayo and all our other towns are in is beautiful!  Everywhere you look, there are mountains!  The city isn't pretty (obviously) but the surroundings are gorgeous!

So Katie wakes me up at 6:30am this morning and we find out that the power is out.  I'm glad she woke up because our alarm would not have gone off.  So my plan was to get up and actually look pretty today.  I wanted to shower and straighten my hair and whatnot.  Fail.  Instead I'm wearing a hat and I did my makeup in the dark.  I have no idea what I look like right now. Haha  On further investigation however, we find out that the power is out in the entire city.  Oh my.  I just hope it works soon.  

The whole not having heat in the hotel really isn't all that bad.  We were pretty comfortable last night.  I had my Hannah Montana blanket so I was okay.  Speaking of which, I introduced myself to a Peruvian woman here and she referred to me as Hannah Montana.  Yay.  Can't even go without that halfway around the world.

One more random fact: One of the little girls here was wearing a playboy sweater! It said playboy all over it and had little bunnies on it!  Haha I'm pretty sure she has no clue though.  (Throughout the course of the trip I saw 2 more little girls with the same one.)  

Fun facts:

>You burn 2x as many calories here at this altitude than at home at sea level

>Japanese people make up the largest minority here.  Random?

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This concludes post 2.  Hope you enjoyed!

Peru Post 1

Okay so this is the first of several of my Peru posts that I'm copying directly from the journal I kept while I was there.  I would post it all at once but it's late and I'm tired. :]

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5/16/09

So we arrived in Lima, Peru late last night.  Yesterday morning we went to bed at 12:30am and got up at 3:00am.  Left for the airport at 4am.  Flew to Newark at 6:45am and arrived at 8:45am.  We then proceeded to stay in the Newark airport until 3:50pm, when we flew out for Lima.  While in the airport, we all basically stretched out on the floor and slept for a bit.  We arrived in Lima around 10:30pm(Lima time...1 hour behind).  Hopped on a bus and rode for about an hour to where we were staying for the night.  Finally made it to bed around 2am-ish.   Had to get up at 5:30am.  Hopped on another bus to ride for 6.5 hours to Huancayo.  No sleep on the plane or bus.  Wow. 

Got here and decided to go eat Chinese food? Anyways.  So the Andes Mountains are the biggest mountains I have ever seen.  While on the bus we got up to I think more than 16,000 feet.  Needless to say, we all felt a little loopy.  The tops of some of the highest mountains were snow capped glaciers.  These glaciers make these awesome lakes when they melt!  It was the bluest water I've ever seen!  Not like Carribean blue...like legit royal blue water.  It was gorgeous!  One of the most breath-taking things I've ever seen. Oh and the bus...we were on the second floor in the very front at the windshield.  Best view on the bust but also the scariest!  Our driver was insane!  I only got really sick feeling once while we were at the high altitudes.  But now we're only at about 12,000 feet. (I think) which is still pretty high but not that bad.  Everything is high considering we're from Charleston which is below sea level. It's only 10:30 right now but I'm so exhausted.  I have no idea how I'm functioning.  

My Spanish is definitely getting a workout!  I love it!  Everything here is in Spanish! (Go figure right).  

So tonight we got together with our journeymen to discuss our plans for the trip.  We met at a local baptist church in Huancayo.  My first impression was that this is a pretty crappy little church, comparing it to the ones back home of course. ( I later found out that this church is definitely among the nicer ones we visited.)  Oh!  And taxis!  We had to take cabs there and back and it was LOCO!  It's like there are no road rules here at all!  People constantly cut others off and speed and don't ever stop and they're always ALWAYS laying on their horns!  It was madness!  But quite an experience. (We took tons of cabs throughout the trip all with the same experience)

While we had Chinese, we had this drink called Inka Cola?  It smelled and tasted just like bubble gum.  It was kinda gross. Some people loved it though.  Just not for me.  I haven't gotten to try guinea pig though. (Look forward to that post people. haha It's a good one.)  

I really want to write more but I can't.  Bedtime.  Nighty night.

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This ends post one!  More actual mission-trip related stuff to come later.  :]

A lot of you probably know this song already.  Brandon Heath's "Give Me Your Eyes."  On hearing it the first couple of times, I thought awe, that's a cool song.  But it has such a good meaning to it!  

I think that one of the main ways Christians can reach out to other non believers is just by living their lives as an example.  Being "different from the norm," as we've all heard.  You've also always heard that this entails "being good."  Not doing bad things.  That means you're different.  I have a slight problem with this statement.  Don't get me wrong.  We shouldn't do "bad things,"  but that is not all!  Christians get so caught up in rules and regulations.  "This is bad.  Don't do this, don't do that."  That's not what it's about!  

We draw a line.  One side of the line contains the "bad things" we COULD be doing.  On the other side are the things we should be doing.  Christians love to just plant themselves and get 

comfortable ON the line.  We're not bad but we're kinda just chillin.  Cruising through life.  We should all be extremely bothered by this.  But we're not because we justify ourselves by saying "Well, we could be worse."  False!  We are no better than anyone else...just needed to get that out there.  We need to get over that line.  And this means we have to do 2 things that most Americans don't like to do.  

1) We have to put forth EFFORT!

2) We have to get out of our comfort zones!

No one wants to work and everyone likes to be comfortable.  Opportunities come up for Christians to try to make a difference in someone's life or I'll even go as far as saying opportunities to go on missions or other similar trips.  To do that requires stepping out of your comfort zone and making effort.  It doesn't just fall into your lap.  You have to GO FOR IT! People justify it by saying "I just don't feel called to go or I don't think that's God telling me too.  It's just in my head."  Wrong.  We should jump at opportunities to serve!  And guess what!  (Here's the good part)  If we're not supposed to be there, God won't let it happen!  He'll close the door!  It works!  Trust Him!  The fact is, everyone is called for the harvest.  To reach others and tell them about how much God loves them and what Jesus did for them on the cross.  Can you imagine your life NOT knowing about Jesus???  Think about that for a second.  No purpose.  No goal.  When you die, your body becomes fertilizer.  Can you even imagine!?!  I can't.  

Anyways, I got off on a little tangent there.  But back to the song and my main point.  The main way to reach out to others here is through our lives and our actions.  But here's the catch.  There's nothing, NOTHING we can do.  The only way God's glory is going to shine through and the only way He will be revealed is if we somehow attempt to really view the world through God's eyes.  Stop judging people at first glance.  Even the ones you've never met and never will meet.  It's only then that we'll be able to do God's mission for us successfully.  It's only then that people will see the love of God.  We have to view them like God does...as if He were walking in physical presence beside us.  So in the end, it's not about lines or "bad things" and "good things."  It's not about mission trips and getting your good deeds in the for the day.  It all comes down to viewing the world from a new perspective and showing the world God's love.  Just loving people. :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OihvG607W-c

I'm so over worrying about my future...

So tonight, I had a lovely heart to heart talk with my mom.  Most of you know the trouble I've been having in that area with the whole her not supporting my missions and bla bla bla so I won't waste time on that.  But I basically asked her: "what would you say if I went to Bible college and majored in missions?"  She then proceeded to get that disapproving look on her face that I know all to well.  It's not a straight forward "I disapprove look."  It's more of a "I hate that she's bringing this up again and I'm worried she's going to do something stupid and end up not being able to take care of herself" kind of look.  From there I just told her in a very respectful way that I felt like she just didn't support the idea of me doing missions at all which really hurts me because she is the one person that I care the most what her opinion is of me.  She then told me: "Hanna, I want you to get that idea out of your head.  I love you and I will support whatever you do.  And I've known since you were young that you had a heart for people and would end up doing something to help others."  So that made me feel better.  I then told her "I'm glad you feel that way...because I really don't want to be a doctor."  Now, the next sentence she said...I'm not going to lie.  I was quite surprised.  I would even go so far as to say I was shocked to the point of being speechless for a few seconds.  She said: "Praise God!!!"  Apparently, she never wanted me to be a doctor.  She works in a hospital and she said she would never wish that stress level and those call hours on me for anything in the world.  So that made me feel better as well. (Because now, I don't have to take organic chemistry!)

From there, we continued to have this (really wonderful) conversation together about my possible options and she said something and it rhymed and I will probably never forget it.  She was very serious when she said it. It kinda made me laugh.  "Follow your heart...but be smart."  Did you just laugh?  It was great.  Anyways, other options...I don't see myself going to Bible College and I do still see me doing something medical because I really do love biology and medicine practices in general.  So I've made up my mind (again I know.)  I think I'm going to do the one thing I swore I would never EVER do in my entire life.  I'm going to nursing school.  There I said it.  I just don't want to spend 15 years of my life in school to be a doctor.  But I'm not just going to be a nurse.  Here's the plan.  I'm going to do my 4 years of nursing but I want to be a nurse anesthetist.  (They make a lot more...starting around 130-140 a year.)  But to do that you go to nursing school, work 2 years, then you have 2 more years of working/anesthetist school.  I figure that during the 2 years working, I can be saving up and preparing for missions (whatever that entails)...go the next 2 years and continue preparing...then jump right into missions!  This way, everyone's happy.  I won't be tied down til I'm 30.  I'll still be doing something in the field of medicine (which I love).  The job market for nursing is HUGE even in a sucky economy so my parents will be happy that I can take care of myself.  And last but not least, nurses are needed EVERYWHERE!  Especially in missions!  If you're a nurse, they'll send you anywhere.  And the best part is, I don't have to take organic chemistry.  :D  Praise God.  

So...my mind is made up!  (again...for now.)  Let me know what you think or if you have any other input.  If you read all this, thanks.  :]

What to do...

Okay.  I haven't posted anything on here in so long I don't even know anyone will read this but I'm going to use it to vent for a bit about a current dilemma.  As everyone knows, my lifetime goal is to be a full time missionary.  I know for sure that's where God is calling me.  Now, the problem is: How the heck do I get there?  As of the moment, I'm on a pre-med path at the College of Charleston and I'd planned on using that in missions but the more I think about it, that is a lot of my life spent in school.  4 years college, 4 years med school, 2-5 year residency.  Do I want to devote that much time to school?  

I could devote that time to school and the return would also be great because there is a wide need for medical professionals in the mission field.  The only thing I'm worried about is that even after all that school, I'll have massive amounts of loans to pay back so I wouldn't be able to jump right into missions.  Another thing is, that's a long time and I'm scared I will have lost momentum by then and I don't want to get to that point.  So what to do?  

My parents (aka my mom) aren't all that excited about the idea of me living in a 3rd world country, not having much money, not getting married and having grandkids and living down the street, and other things of that nature.  Granted, my mom does have only child syndrome.  They want me to graduate, get a job, and have a "normal" life.  However, normal is relative.  For a lot of my friends, that is normal.  And nowhere in the Bible does it say to live a normal life.  They want me to have a stable comfortable life.  But nowhere in the Bible does it say to live comfortably.  As a matter of fact, it says quite the opposite.  So there's the med school thing.

So, I can go to med school and eventually get involved in missions by the time I'm about 35, granted I don't lose steam in the process.  Another option, I can go to a Bible college somewhere.  Jason presented this idea to me today.  I could actually major in missions.  The only thing with this is, my parents may in fact disown me.  They will certainly not approve because I need to do something that will "enable me to take care of myself."  But I don't want to have a lot of money.  I consider that a blessing.  It makes you depend more on God.  

They don't understand the need to do God's work.  I want to spend this life as if I'm preparing for the next one.  I want my life to be one such that if the Bible were still being written, my story would be in it.  This life has a purpose and I just feel like we're running out of time.  There are too many people out there that need to experience God's love and grace and find out what Jesus did for them.  There are so many that don't even know the gospel!  That's so hard for us to imagine but it's out there!

So med school, Bible college, parental approval, alternate major?  That's my dilemma.  Please PLEASE give me some advice.

kThanxBye.