Thoughts

Yay! New blog! I've been wanting to write one for awhile now. So here are some thoughts.

Fact: In the past 46 hours, I've slept a grand total of 6 of them...mostly spread out throughout the day, not the night.
Fact: During said hours, I've filled my body with nothing other than horrible, processed, microwavable meals, starburst jellybeans, and highly concentrated amounts of caffeine.
Fact: 90% of said hours have been consumed by studying for 2 separate anatomy tests.
Fact: 0% of said hours have been spent in God's word and in prayer.

Needless to say, the past few days have been a little rough. But they're over now. Thank God! Anyways...so I was just thinking on this a few minutes ago and decided to write about it. During anatomy class thus far, I've gone to the lab at least 3 times a week (which is a lot more than most), spent at least 7 or 8 hours in the lab each week and even more time studying ouside of the lab. I spent many many precious hours studying for these tests including all of sunday night before my test Monday morning. All of this work for a couple of tests that will last about 2 hours total. I get to the tests and what happens? They're hard. I don't think I did very well on either of them and it really frustrates me when this happens. I work my butt off...all in vain. All of that work I did does not matter because I'm not getting the grade I want on those tests. This has been consuming my thoughts the past couple of days.

So I get to tonight. I'm finally finally FINALLY done with the tests. So I decided to spend some time in the Word to kind of make up for lost time in the past couple of days. I knew it would make me feel better. I've been reading in 1 Corinthians lately. I love Paul! (Even though I believe he can be slightly arrogant sometimes haha) So I'm reading and I get to verse 58 of chapter 15 which says

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of hte Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
-1 Corinthians 15:58

Once again, God's perfect timing comes through for me and I, again, try to focus on the big picture. My actions are not in vain. I live (or at least try to live) for God. My actions are purposeful. My life in general is purposeful. It doesn't matter if I fail this test. It doesn't matter if I fail this class. The big picture is that I am living my life for Christ and not for a good grade. 10 years down the road, these tests are not going to matter. Actually, I will probably have forgotten all about them by that point. Such trivial things we tend to focus on. How could I let these test affect me this way? How could I let something as trivial as a test in an anatomy class bring me to the point that I'm crying and having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night? Why would I do that? Why would I do that knowing that the God of the universe loves me and has given me purpose and has told me that I won't labor in vain? I puzzle myself sometimes.

Thats all for now. I need to get some sleep. Good night :]