Topic 1: This is it folks. I finally found it. My weakness. Never thought I'd actually find one, but its there. Plain as day. Can't believe I never noticed before. A lot of people have issues dealing with theirs pasts. Things they've done or didn't do. Said or didn't say. Well, I am the complete opposite. I can not stop dwelling on the future. I don't mean like the normal college student worries about where they'll be after graduation kind of future. I mean EVERYTHING! It consumes my thought. Thoughts like "wow I'm going to be really sad when all the seniors this year to graduate and leave." or "Where am I going to live after this school year and who will I live with?" "What am I going to do this summer?" "When can I go back to Texas?" I am all about the future. And when I think of it this way, I begin to wonder if I'm missing anything that's happening right now. This occurred to me a couple of hours ago so I haven't had time to notice yet. But really, I think I need to try to better live in the "now" instead of dwelling on things that have yet to happen. So thats something I need to work on.
Topic 2: Some of you may know that one of my main goals this year is to get to know people I already know. People that I know fairly well. We hang out a lot. I see them a good bit. But I don't really know them. I don't know their story. So one thing I've been doing is simply getting coffee with random friends or even asking perfect strangers to tell me their story. For instance, one night a couple of weeks ago, I was giving a friend of mine a ride somewhere and her roommate wanted to ride along. While driving, I began just talking to her roommate. I asked her to...well...tell me her story. And she did. Just an idea of what this girl was like: this girl was very happy, very positive, smiled a lot, fairly talkative and seemed like an all around decent, normal, perfectly happy freshman at CofC. She goes on to tell me how her dad was actually a raging alcoholic who died from alcohol when she was in 7th grade. She grew up in that atmosphere and her entire family on that side suffered from the same addiction. She told me all sorts of stories from her childhood that, upon looking at her, you would have never guessed. Ever. I guess my point is that something I've learned more clearly than any schoolwork this year is that you never know what someone is going through. Strangers on the street, coworkers, people in your class. You never know what they're going through. So we should love everyone and show compassion for everyone no matter how "together" they seem on the outside.
And this girls story is just one example of many I've come across so far.
Topic 3: You know, I had an entire 3rd topic I was going to type about. But on further evaluation, I believe I'll save this one so it can have its own posting. Plus it's 1:45am and I have class at 9. So I'm going to bed. Good night all :]
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Favorite Song
One of my FAVORITE songs ever is "Divine Romance" by Phil Wickham. If you're one of the few people that actually read my blog, you probably know this one. I literally will just get in some strange mood where I really want to listen to this song. I was thinking today, as I was listening to the song, "what makes it so great?" And I think its because this song just addresses so many aspects of a real relationship with God.
The first verse just praises God for all He is. His grace, beauty, glory. All are there and the song is just saying that these aspects all consume my life. They're "all I see." And I really love when it says that "In your presence God, I'm completely satisfied." I mean yea. For me at least, its one of the most satisfying feelings to be totally immersed in God. To be totally immersed in His presence or totally immersed in awe and worship of who Him and His awesome character. You just don't get much better than that.
The chorus, of course, is just full on worship. I just really love the whole "divine romance" concept. Its such a great way to look at your relationship with God. A romance is defined by love. It's not defined by doing things for another though, which is a concept a lot of people have (maybe unknowingly). My small group at BCM is reading through Crazy Love by Francis Chan and one topic he addressed in our chapter for this week was: do you love God...or do you love the idea of God. The fact that God is saving you from eternal hell. Do you genuinely love Him for who He is? His very character? Put it this way. Take away all the heavy stuff like heaven and hell. There's just this God who loves you more than you can comprehend but He's not necessarily saving you from anything. Do you still love Him? Do you still want to keep His commandments if there are no punishments? It's tough to think of it that way. But His relationship with us should be based on His love for us and we should attempt to love Him as well. It's not based on "Hey what can God do for me today?" I totally just went off on a huge tangent and I appologize. It was not intended for this post.
Anyway, so the last verse is basically the gospel contained in 3 lines. He talks about an ocean of love flowing from God and how Jesus's innocent blood has cleaned our lives. I just love this song. Covers so many things. I think I'll post a video. Yea I'll do that. Here you go :]
Okay it wouldn't let me post a video.
The first verse just praises God for all He is. His grace, beauty, glory. All are there and the song is just saying that these aspects all consume my life. They're "all I see." And I really love when it says that "In your presence God, I'm completely satisfied." I mean yea. For me at least, its one of the most satisfying feelings to be totally immersed in God. To be totally immersed in His presence or totally immersed in awe and worship of who Him and His awesome character. You just don't get much better than that.
The chorus, of course, is just full on worship. I just really love the whole "divine romance" concept. Its such a great way to look at your relationship with God. A romance is defined by love. It's not defined by doing things for another though, which is a concept a lot of people have (maybe unknowingly). My small group at BCM is reading through Crazy Love by Francis Chan and one topic he addressed in our chapter for this week was: do you love God...or do you love the idea of God. The fact that God is saving you from eternal hell. Do you genuinely love Him for who He is? His very character? Put it this way. Take away all the heavy stuff like heaven and hell. There's just this God who loves you more than you can comprehend but He's not necessarily saving you from anything. Do you still love Him? Do you still want to keep His commandments if there are no punishments? It's tough to think of it that way. But His relationship with us should be based on His love for us and we should attempt to love Him as well. It's not based on "Hey what can God do for me today?" I totally just went off on a huge tangent and I appologize. It was not intended for this post.
Anyway, so the last verse is basically the gospel contained in 3 lines. He talks about an ocean of love flowing from God and how Jesus's innocent blood has cleaned our lives. I just love this song. Covers so many things. I think I'll post a video. Yea I'll do that. Here you go :]
Okay it wouldn't let me post a video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeTzIuZr0wI
See if the link works :]
Tattoo idea?
So I'm thinking of getting this tattooed on the inside of my foot (kind of behind/under ankle bone). Not in blue though, in black. Hummingbirds are kind of special to me for several reasons. One, I think they're beautiful. Two, ever since I was small, my mom has loved hummingbirds and has had feeders in our back yard. She would always sit out on our backporch in the early evenings (when they usually feed) and just sit and watch them. Or the same thing in the morning with her coffee. On many occasions I would go sit with her and watch them feed and we would talk. Just sit and talk. Oftentimes it wasn't anything to deep or important but all of these times are very dear to me. So I love hummingbirds :]
And I would really really like something scriptural to go with it so if you have any ideas, shoot me a message.
People back home, don't you dare tell my mother!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thoughts
Yay! New blog! I've been wanting to write one for awhile now. So here are some thoughts.
Fact: In the past 46 hours, I've slept a grand total of 6 of them...mostly spread out throughout the day, not the night.
Fact: During said hours, I've filled my body with nothing other than horrible, processed, microwavable meals, starburst jellybeans, and highly concentrated amounts of caffeine.
Fact: 90% of said hours have been consumed by studying for 2 separate anatomy tests.
Fact: 0% of said hours have been spent in God's word and in prayer.
Needless to say, the past few days have been a little rough. But they're over now. Thank God! Anyways...so I was just thinking on this a few minutes ago and decided to write about it. During anatomy class thus far, I've gone to the lab at least 3 times a week (which is a lot more than most), spent at least 7 or 8 hours in the lab each week and even more time studying ouside of the lab. I spent many many precious hours studying for these tests including all of sunday night before my test Monday morning. All of this work for a couple of tests that will last about 2 hours total. I get to the tests and what happens? They're hard. I don't think I did very well on either of them and it really frustrates me when this happens. I work my butt off...all in vain. All of that work I did does not matter because I'm not getting the grade I want on those tests. This has been consuming my thoughts the past couple of days.
So I get to tonight. I'm finally finally FINALLY done with the tests. So I decided to spend some time in the Word to kind of make up for lost time in the past couple of days. I knew it would make me feel better. I've been reading in 1 Corinthians lately. I love Paul! (Even though I believe he can be slightly arrogant sometimes haha) So I'm reading and I get to verse 58 of chapter 15 which says
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of hte Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
-1 Corinthians 15:58
Once again, God's perfect timing comes through for me and I, again, try to focus on the big picture. My actions are not in vain. I live (or at least try to live) for God. My actions are purposeful. My life in general is purposeful. It doesn't matter if I fail this test. It doesn't matter if I fail this class. The big picture is that I am living my life for Christ and not for a good grade. 10 years down the road, these tests are not going to matter. Actually, I will probably have forgotten all about them by that point. Such trivial things we tend to focus on. How could I let these test affect me this way? How could I let something as trivial as a test in an anatomy class bring me to the point that I'm crying and having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night? Why would I do that? Why would I do that knowing that the God of the universe loves me and has given me purpose and has told me that I won't labor in vain? I puzzle myself sometimes.
Thats all for now. I need to get some sleep. Good night :]
Fact: In the past 46 hours, I've slept a grand total of 6 of them...mostly spread out throughout the day, not the night.
Fact: During said hours, I've filled my body with nothing other than horrible, processed, microwavable meals, starburst jellybeans, and highly concentrated amounts of caffeine.
Fact: 90% of said hours have been consumed by studying for 2 separate anatomy tests.
Fact: 0% of said hours have been spent in God's word and in prayer.
Needless to say, the past few days have been a little rough. But they're over now. Thank God! Anyways...so I was just thinking on this a few minutes ago and decided to write about it. During anatomy class thus far, I've gone to the lab at least 3 times a week (which is a lot more than most), spent at least 7 or 8 hours in the lab each week and even more time studying ouside of the lab. I spent many many precious hours studying for these tests including all of sunday night before my test Monday morning. All of this work for a couple of tests that will last about 2 hours total. I get to the tests and what happens? They're hard. I don't think I did very well on either of them and it really frustrates me when this happens. I work my butt off...all in vain. All of that work I did does not matter because I'm not getting the grade I want on those tests. This has been consuming my thoughts the past couple of days.
So I get to tonight. I'm finally finally FINALLY done with the tests. So I decided to spend some time in the Word to kind of make up for lost time in the past couple of days. I knew it would make me feel better. I've been reading in 1 Corinthians lately. I love Paul! (Even though I believe he can be slightly arrogant sometimes haha) So I'm reading and I get to verse 58 of chapter 15 which says
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of hte Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
-1 Corinthians 15:58
Once again, God's perfect timing comes through for me and I, again, try to focus on the big picture. My actions are not in vain. I live (or at least try to live) for God. My actions are purposeful. My life in general is purposeful. It doesn't matter if I fail this test. It doesn't matter if I fail this class. The big picture is that I am living my life for Christ and not for a good grade. 10 years down the road, these tests are not going to matter. Actually, I will probably have forgotten all about them by that point. Such trivial things we tend to focus on. How could I let these test affect me this way? How could I let something as trivial as a test in an anatomy class bring me to the point that I'm crying and having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night? Why would I do that? Why would I do that knowing that the God of the universe loves me and has given me purpose and has told me that I won't labor in vain? I puzzle myself sometimes.
Thats all for now. I need to get some sleep. Good night :]
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Okay...so...
This will be short and I'm basically writing it as a way to procrastinate...I mean...take a break from studying for a few minutes. Don't really know what I will say so here goes.
Uhm. Okay. My life: Class, anatomy lab (usually 3-4 hours...ridiculous) work, homework, sleep, BCM. Thats about all I do.
I have yet to finish Sense and Sensability (even though its my 2nd time reading it so I technically have finished).
I started a notebook awhile back in which I just write down awesome Bible verses as I run across them and its actually been a really large blessing since I started it. I look in it when I'm having a bad day or something like that.
I started a prayer wall in my room...which I love. It's just a few things that are continuously requiring prayer. Includes quite a few missionaries, people I know going through difficult times, family issues, and the Invisible Children in Uganda (because that video has now successfully brought me to tears twice.) I'm trying to make it a point to pray over all these things every night.
My coke bottle from Einsteins today was in all spanish. I liked it.
My room is a mess.
I don't really care about the Women's Rights Movement, even though I've been studying it now for 2 hours.
I really want to go to India.
I really want patience and eyes to see that I have a mission field here so I won't be living just from one trip to the next.
I really want to see fruit in my life while I am here in Charleston.
Uhm...I really want to re-do my room. Its way to preppy for me. Gross.
I really really dislike my work but am trying to be positive about it so I'll stop complaining. I hate it when people complain so I'm going to stop. I'm blessed to have a job.
Okay I need to stop procrastinating. Back to studying. Sorry this post is lame.
Uhm. Okay. My life: Class, anatomy lab (usually 3-4 hours...ridiculous) work, homework, sleep, BCM. Thats about all I do.
I have yet to finish Sense and Sensability (even though its my 2nd time reading it so I technically have finished).
I started a notebook awhile back in which I just write down awesome Bible verses as I run across them and its actually been a really large blessing since I started it. I look in it when I'm having a bad day or something like that.
I started a prayer wall in my room...which I love. It's just a few things that are continuously requiring prayer. Includes quite a few missionaries, people I know going through difficult times, family issues, and the Invisible Children in Uganda (because that video has now successfully brought me to tears twice.) I'm trying to make it a point to pray over all these things every night.
My coke bottle from Einsteins today was in all spanish. I liked it.
My room is a mess.
I don't really care about the Women's Rights Movement, even though I've been studying it now for 2 hours.
I really want to go to India.
I really want patience and eyes to see that I have a mission field here so I won't be living just from one trip to the next.
I really want to see fruit in my life while I am here in Charleston.
Uhm...I really want to re-do my room. Its way to preppy for me. Gross.
I really really dislike my work but am trying to be positive about it so I'll stop complaining. I hate it when people complain so I'm going to stop. I'm blessed to have a job.
Okay I need to stop procrastinating. Back to studying. Sorry this post is lame.
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