Rafting Trip

See me in the bottom right......^^

I left Sunday with my youth group to go on a whitewater rafting trip up in West Virginia. And here's what happened. We get there, and by there I mean in the middle of nowhere somewhere in the mountains of West Virginia, and before we even go to the place we're staying, we pull over on this trail that leads us into the woods. Now mind you, we've been riding on a hot, no air conditioner bus pretty much all day. They proceed to tell us that before we go to the campus or unload our stuff or anything like that, we're going hiking! Most of the youth group wasn't very happy. I, on the other hand really enjoy stuff like hiking through the mountains so I tried to get everyone else to stop complaining. Then we get to what they called our "path." This path was the worst path I've ever seen. It was about a foot wide with all kinds of plants and trees growing over it. And there was another really significant problem. The entire way was infested pretty heavily with yellowjackets. I was one of the lucky few who did not get stung, thankfully. This path was also extremely rocky and at some points very VERY steep. So we're walking along just listening to the sounds of nature over everyone's complaining when all of a sudden we step out on this huge rock that juts out of the side of the mountain. It was amazing! We were very near the top of the mountain overlooking this place called the gorge which is an amazing river that flows through these mountains. The view was nothing short of breathtaking. The picture above doesn't do it very much justice. After a few minutes of ooh's and aaahs, our youth pastor tells us to take a seat. His friend, another youth pastor from WV, was with us and he took out an acoustic guitar and began to lead us in a few praise and worship songs. It's really hard to put this experience into words for me. Just sitting there, worshipping God looking out over this amazing view of His creation. Wow. You look all around and you see these huge mountains just surrounding you and you can hear the sound of the river flowing down below. As you look at the river you can even see the rapids a little ways upstream. For me, it was just an amazing experience where I could really feel how close God is. You could just feel His presence.

The path reminded me of life. Life is hard. We go through many thick areas, over a lot of steep paths, and we get stung a lot of times but we're constantly having to push our way through. But in the end, it's all worth it to get to our final destination and be with God.

Another symbolic meaning I found in this trip was looking down at the river. You could see some pretty intense rapids that the rafts would go through but if you could look ahead, just a little further downriver, you'd see peaceful waters. So no matter what you're going through, there's always a newfound peace at the end. These were just some comforting thoughts that crossed my mind as I was listening to the music and taking in my surroundings.

It was also pretty cool the next day when we were actually rafting on that river to be able to look up at the rock that we were on the night before. It was a great trip. :]

Reason for My Calling

Okay...so I've been meaning to write about this for awhile. I'm going to explain the events that led up to me deciding that I want to do mission work.

So...Let's take it all the way back to 7th grade! Most of you have probably heard me talk about this event that my youth group goes to every year called Big God Conference hosted at Myrtle Beach (which is pretty close to where I live). Well, I'm in 7th grade and it's my first year in the youth group, therefore my first year to go to Big God, therefore my first time to hear Ken Freeman speak. While he was speaking, I was sitting on the front row. I was terrified. Anyway, long story short, during one of the conferences, I felt such a strong calling to do mission work. I really can't explain it but it couldn't have been any plainer if God were sitting in front of me in physical form telling me that it was my purpose.

Many of you already know this part of the story, especially WW staff, so bear with me. Around my first few years of high school, probably up through the beginning of my junior year, I wasn't exactly walking the way I should have been. I made a few mistakes, nothing major...but I was pushing God to the backburner. I went to church but it was all in routine and it gave me a chance to socialize. I never read my Bible..or even took it to church with me. I was totally withdrawing from my faith and living exactly how I wanted to. So...Junior year was halfway through and it was time for me to go to Big God again. (This conference played a huge part in my life if you can't tell yet.) God really spoke to me this time and I began to change my ways. I would now look for ways to serve God. I read my Bible constantly and it became my strong hold. I found that as long as I was in the word, it made it a lot harder to stumble in my walk.

Later on, not sure exactly when, I ran across this verse that really spoke to me. That's putting it lightly. This verse knocked me off my feet. So naturally, I'm going to share it with you.

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded..." Luke 12:48

Wow....I looked around at all this stuff I had. I looked at my house. I thought about my "stuff." I thought about what an awesome family I have! How I'm free to worship God in my country. How I'm free to do whatever I want with my life. I am just so blessed. I have so much in my life to be thankful for! How dare I EVER complain! How dare I ever be jealous of someone or get mad over little insignificant things. After I thought about it some more, I've been given a lot. Therefore, a lot is demanded of me. How can I refuse?

I became serious about serving God in whatever way I could...whethere it be on trips with church or doing things locally. Big God of my senior year comes along adn Ken Freman of course is speaking. He talks about something called Wild Week. And well, the rest is history. I go to WW, have an amazing experience, come home, and cry for 3 weeks and counting. I decided to do pre-med because the mission field is very wide for doctors. I still can't believe I decided to do that in the first place...but why cut myself short? I've been given this opportunity to go to school and not have to pay very much for it so why waste it? But that's my story. Hope you enjoyed or atleast got to know a little more about me.

Aside from all that, I need some prayer because for some reason, I haven't been in the Word like I need to be lately. I'm going to make a conscious effort though to spend some more time devoted to studying it. Thanks you guys. You're all great.

Don't know what I'm going to write about

So...I don't know why I'm writing right now. Actually I do. Just because I feel like it. I don't have a particular subject to write about so I appologize if this is going to just sound like a lot of nothing. I'll probably just ramble for a while.


Yea...I'm sunburnt. And it hurts. The thing is I suck at putting on sunscreen so I always get most of my body covered and end up leaving random spots not covered so I get really wierd red spots. It sucks. Stupid hott lifeguards are to distracting. ;]


Let's see what else is on my mind right now. Oh! Thanks to Whitney, I'm hopelessly addicted to the book series "Twilight." I am now in the 3rd book and I just started the first one less than a week ago. It's ridiculously mind-consuming. I've also gotten a few of my friends here in on this addiction. Edward, even though he is not real, has raised the standard for all future guys that I date.


Kristi, Whitney, Levi,


I'm glad yall are getting to spend some time together this week! I just thought I'd let you know that I'm extremely jealous and happy for yall at the same time. I desperately miss yall more than you can imagine. Yall changed my life dramatically and I love all three of you dearly. I've had to accept the fact that I will not be coming to Texas any time in the near future due to hindrances family-wise (and I think yall know that story) and financial reasons and time issues since I'm working up until the week before I leave for school. So oh well. Wish I could but I can't. It's horrible...I know. But I have a feeling I'm going to need a Texas fix atleast on a yearly basis now and if I don't talk to atleast one of you every day I'm pretty sure I'll go insane.

Hmm...What else? Oh yea! I'm kinda happy right now because I have something to look forward to again and that is the fact that I leave Sunday to go white water rafting!!! That is one of my all time favorite things to do!!! So it should be pretty fun. I'm excited. :]

Oh...And I found this funny. You may not. But my mom is really technologically challenged and she thought she was taking a picture of me and a friend at graduation and instead she took this video. haha

I really miss my cousin Chaz right now. For those of you who don't know, we're really really close and I haven't seen him in over 2 months and he's on a youth trip right now and doesn't have his cell phone so I haven't talked to him in over a week. His birthday was Tuesday and I couldn't even tell him Happy Birthday. Sad right? Well, atleast he comes home Saturday. I believe I'm going to possibly go stay with him that night and spend some much needed time together. :]

One more thing and I'll stop rambling. I want my staff DVD soooooo bad!!! Everyone's seen it but me!!! Stupid South Carolina!!! Shipping takes forever! It better be here tomorrow or Hanna's going to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with the nice people at the post office.

If you just read all this, I commend you. It all is kinda pointless. But I feel better so it's okay.

I also really love my webcam and randomly taking pictures of myself on it. :]

Peace at Orientation

Okay...so I don't really know how to start but here goes anyway.

I had orientation today at the College of Charleston. If you know me at all or have read my blogs, you know that I've been struggling a little with my future and figuring out my major and all that good stuff. I originally planned to do pharmacy but changed my mind because with a job like that, you're tied down and I don't want to be so obligated because I want to be open to do mission work as much as possible.

So to the story now...it got to the point today where we were supposed to declare our majors. I did something a little drastic that shocked my parents, my friends and even myself. I declared myself Pre-Med. Out of nowhere, hadn't really given it much thought. I just did it. I thought about it and if I'm a doctor of some sort, I'd be my own boss and have the freedom to take off to do missions as I pleased and its something that would be greatly utilized in the field. I've also been blessed with some great scholarships and I have some good connections at the local Medical school through my mom so I'd pretty much be stupid not to take advantage of these open doors!

Immediately afterwards though, I felt this overwhelming peace about me. Although I'm still shocked at myself for doing it in the first place, I feel like right now its the right thing to do. God just fitted all the pieces together and I'm so grateful and awed by how good He is.

God, I thank you so much for this breakthrough for me today. I pray for Your strength as I start school next month because I know I'll be faced with new challenges all the time. I pray that You will continually help me to draw closer to You and not become stagnant God. I also want to thank You so much for my friends here at home that are supporting me through it all and for my friends from WW. I pray that You will keep me close-knit with all of these awesome people and help them all to hold me accountable. I also lift up a select few of them to You who are embarking on journeys into new phases of their life as well and that You would place Your hand of protection over them and draw them continuously closer to You. Thanks again for all You do!

So I'm officially a Pre-Med student.
Thanks for reading guys. Love you all :]

I Made a Horrible Mistake

I've done something terrible. It's true. I really REALLY miss Wild Week. But in the process of me coming home, that's pretty much all I've thought about or talked about. I also continue to talk about all of these amazing people that I met while I was there and I have, subconsciously, made a couple of my friends upset because they feel that I don't want to be here and that I'd rather be back with everyone else at WW. They feel that they somehow don't live up to the standards of my friends from WW. I am so so SO sorry for ever making anyone feel like this. It was never my intention. Ever! Yea...I miss my friends from Wild Week but its not so much that, but the atmosphere. It's hard to explain, but everything at Wild Week was "good." Life was "good" for six weeks. I didn't have any real life worries (well I did but I kinda pushed them away while I was there). I met some great people that I made lifechanging friendships with. But these friendships are a different kind than the ones at home. These friendships became really deep and really close because we were in this almost fantasy world for six weeks, all joined together under God's will. But I need to focus more on my friendships at home as well because these are the people that have been there for me my whole life. It's just hard coming back home to this culture-shock after being on a Jesus high for 6 weeks and the first thing that happens is you're getting it from all angles about your future. My mom, along with some other people have told me that I've changed. I'm not going to argue. My relationship with Christ is better and more personal now that it ever has been. Somehow though, my mom doesn't see this change as a good change. I don't know. Sorry, I got off on a tangent. But I'm not going to let her hinder God's plans for my life. Anyway, back to my friends. There are a couple of people here that I could not imagine my life without. These people are the ones who have been with me through everything you could imagine. They were there for me with this fight with my mom and they've been there for all the ones before. If you're reading this, you know who you are. I feel absolutely awful that I made you feel this way. I even cried over it a little because it seems that ever since last Wednesday night, when the WW staff took communion together, I've been able to cry over anything, whereas before, I never cried. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. But just know that if you're in the group that I'm talking to, I do love you and I am truly grateful for you. If it weren't for you, I'd really have been in a mess having to come home. You've been supportive through the whole adjusting process and I really appreciate it. I would have given ANYTHING to let you experience all that I did while at WW because it was such a blessing. So please know that I am truly sorry and if I ever do that again please let me know. I love you both so much and I thank God constantly for putting you guys in my life!

Wow.

I miss everyone so bad. It's really been starting to hit hard the past couple of days. I'm pretty sure the only way I'm getting by is by talking to Levi, Kristi, and Whitney on a regular basis. Thank God for these people! I wish I could move to TX. But I know I'm supposed to move on to my life here.

I'm pretty new to this thing so forgive me if I break some unofficial rules of blogging.

So today was my first official day home from Wild Week...and it sucked. Wild Week, for me, was one of those things that just completely changed my life. It's amazing how God can use ordinary events and extraordinary people to just speak into your life so much that you feel overwhelmed that you're so blessed. It's almost hard to put into words. I just feel like I've drawn so much closer God the past few weeks and I really hate to get away from that atmosphere where I, along with so many great people, all came together with a common purpose for the Lord. It was this purpose that brought us so close. And now, I'm several states away from all of them and I'm back home with people that I don't feel I can really connect with anymore. It's hard because the only people that can relate are all in Texas and Oklahoma while I'm in South Carolina. Don't get me wrong. I love all of my friends here dearly! And a couple of them have been really supportive helping me adjust to the culture-shock of being home, but I just feel like the other friendships are so superficial now. (Thanks for that quote Whitney) I can't think of any other way to describe it. This summer has completely changed my outlook on my life and what I want to do with it which brings me to my next topic.

Up until Wild Week, I had this plan to go to Pharmacy school and graduate...and bla bla bla. But now, I've totally surrendered to God's will. I would love to do long term or full time missions but I don't know how to go about it so I'm faithfully waiting for God to open up some doors. (In the same way He did with Wild Week) My mom doesn't understand this. She's worried that I'm a naive little girl whose living in this fantasy world and doesn't understand the harshness of the real world. But she also has this mold that she's always, subconsciously, tried to fit me in. I really do believe she has good intentions and doesn't mean to do this but she does. For instance, she always wondered why I never hung out very much with the kids at my school. All they did was get drunk and have sex to put it bluntly and frankly, I hated being the DD. And she thought I was an outcast. I have a group of friends who are slightly different as in, piercings and tattoos and she doesn't like all of that stuff but these are great, God loving people, who have nothing but a positive influence on my life and she doesn't understand that. She doesn't mind these people. I mean she's not that closeminded but she's scared I'm going to come home with tattoos and piercings and she doesn't want me to. To put it simply, my independence scares her because she knows I'm going to do whatever I feel called to do. But she fussed at me all night and it turned into this big argument about me not being responsible and she thinks I'm not going to do anything that's going to support myself. Basically, I'm going to throw my life away. I'm not stupid. I know that if I wanna do long term missions, I have to save up a lot of money and I still plan on going to school, graduating, paying off some loans and then saving up. I just don't wanna be tied down with a job like pharmacy. I'd rather do something where I'm my own boss so I'd have that freedom to pursue missions if I wanted to. I just don't wanna be obligated to a job like that if God calls me somewhere. And that's my only point. I really like this blog thing. It's a great way to vent.

Oh...and she's freaking out because I really am getting a tattoo. :] I kinda like that she is though. Is it bad that I enjoyed her reaction? ;]

I miss so many people right now. I hate it. Wild Week is a big part of me starting this blog so you will probably see a lot of stories from it and a lot of references to it which shouldn't be a problem because most of my readers will be from there anyway.

Love you all. But it's 3 in the morning now and I need sleep.